“When you’re gay, nothing changes. You stay the same. Your personality doesn’t change; the people in your life don’t change; who you are doesn’t change; nothing changes.”  This is a real quote made by a drastically unqualified heterosexual man with good intentions. He shared this during a mandatory diversity training session. The company's HR representative had asked, “Do you think people change after coming out as gay?” This was back in 2001, and despite being open about my sexual identity for only five years, I had a lot to say on the matter. Why? Because after this vanilla, Southern boy (i.e. me) came out as gay, a lot did in fact change.   Growing up, I always presented signs of being gay. I toted a purse in which I carried my hot wheels cars and a turtle I once found on the side of the road. I made my male Star Wars action figures make out with each other. But I never told anyone I was gay until I woke my wife a little after 2 am on a weeknight back in 1999. And despite h...

My most memorable targeted bullying incident occurred late one night back in 2006.  It was February. Midtown Memphis.  And just so we're clear, I wasn't the bully. No, that distinguished honor belongs to a carful of grannies. Standing under a streetlight with a few other 30-something friends outside of a popular, gay watering hole , we waited for a laggard from the group to find a parking spot. Despite the freezing temperature, the suggested plan was to “go in together.” I hadn't been out for long, so I assumed this was yet another "gay thing" with which I was unfamiliar as gay culture can be confusing at times. Because of this, I did not question it and kept my complaints to myself; though, I assure you the words I thought when a gust of wind threatened to seal my pooter shut were very ungentlemanly.  The quiet squeak of brakes catches my attention. Some of us turned to watch a purple PT cruiser slowly stop at a red light no more than 3 yards behind us. As I re-f...